Getting Knee-High

I must preface this blog with the circumstances of this sighting: Saturday night at the Beaverton Michael's craft store is not the usual watering hole of Portland's fashion elite, but there is a minimum standard of decency I come to expect when shopping for pipe cleaners and paper mache figurines. This man was wandering through the art framing section, probably finding the supplies to immortalize a photograph of himself in this, his sexiest of outfits:



Was there a craft emergency that prevented this man from changing his clothes post-sports participation? Aside from the socks, grown men need to eliminate after-activity odor before parading around in public, as achieved by a wardrobe substitution.


Law: You would have to be high to wear knee-high socks

Knowing Portland, that state of mind is not beyond the realm of possibilities for most knee-high sock wearing folk. But for the people who consciously grab that foot long sock out of their drawer, yank it up to the knee or beyond, exposing the thigh for us all to see (especially man thigh--yuck!), this wake up call is for you. Beyond the age of 10, once you leave the soccer field, football field or any field and enter any establishment other than your private home, carry a change of shoes. You don't wear your cleats off of the field, why leave the socks?

The jury is still out regarding ankle socks for women as a fashion choice. There is a forceful return of the exposed-sock-with-skirt-look on the runway and though I would never be caught dead in argyle socks with Mary Janes, I appreciate how others can rock the look. If I had to make an educated guess on the jury's decision, it would be not guilty with conditions. School girl-esque fashion went out in 1999 and I will kick it with my bitch boot if necessary to block its return.